The Apple Ate My Dog
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"The Apple Ate My Dog"
by: Wes Robert Ward
They all thought I was insane, yet it was all true. Every word I said was absolutely true. From my own friends and family, the whole neighborhood, even God.
The apple ate my dog.
He was just a little chihuahua and I was walking him through the park by this big apple tree when it happened. You see there were a few apples on the ground already and this one of not no ordinary average size turned about, bared it's sharp teeth and tongue, and then went and ate my dog.
That's right an apple ate my dog!!!
Anyway before it could come at me with it's hungry mouth I jumped back and ran for the street. My anxiety was through the roof and I was panicking like crazy.
Running down the road into my neighborhood I screamed and yelled, "An apple ate my dog!!! An apple ate my dog!!! For the love of humanity, help!!! An apple ate my dog!!!"
Sadly nobody believed me and the state declared that I was insane and locked me up in an institute for the mentally disturbed. I mean, I guess it's hard to believe anybody that said that an apple ate his dog.
Yet my story is true because an apple really did eat my dog.
And I told the guys who were locked up with me about this and they all believed me. Finally somebody believed me.
The first guy said, "I believe you, a banana used a baseball bat on my pussycat."
The second guy said, "I believe you, an orange planted a bomb in my hamster's cage."
And the third guy said, "I believe you too."
I asked, "What fruit framed you?"
He replied, "None, but I know a few vegetables that used a machine gun at the zoo."
Just so you know none of us are getting out so your pets and animals are safe, but word of warning\u2026. death awaits all of them for the evil grows on trees and in the ground.
And if an apple with teeth or even a carrot with a switchblade comes at you and your pet\u2026 grab your pet and run!!!
The End. \ud83c\udf4e
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