Abraham Lincolns Legacy

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"Sometimes I wonder if Abraham Lincoln ever wonders about his face on the one cent penny. Does he ever wonder from his throne in heaven what it's like to have his legacy on a piece of copper coin?

I also wonder if he realizes his legacy has been everywhere in the world from store to store, cash register to cash register, from pockets to pockets, and from piggy banks to piggy banks.

And tossed or found in gutters, dumpsters, cracks in the road, street corners, highways and byways, under car petals, old sofas, dirt, grass, slime, tar, blood, railroad tracks, at the beach, masses of water whether it be lakes, rivers, or oceans, possibly the moon, found in the digestive system during autopsies, thrown at prostitutes, or a million other places so disgusting you can only imagine.

Wow, Mr. President, it makes that wonderful last experience to Ford's Theater look so much better doesn't it?

But Mr. Lincoln, you must also realize we find you more than Washington's Quarter, Jefferson's Nickel, or even Roosevelt's Dime. Maybe it's because many of us get confused or perplexed by the silver mixed with the copper, or maybe it's because your penny is one useless coin in a soda machine.

But don't let that get you down, Honest Abe, because your penny brings good luck as well. For example:

Four men see money on the interstate highway during 5 o'clock rush hour and think about running across it to collect it.

The first man runs, grabs the nickel, and gets hit by a car and dies.

The second man runs, grabs the dime, and gets hit by a semi truck and dies.

The third man runs, grabs the quarter, almost gets away but slips on the remains of his two companions, and gets hit by more than one car and truck, then dies.

The fourth man found a penny by the interstate on the grass because some redneck thought he didn't need the tax after getting his Budweiser.

Thank you, Abe, you saved a life, and no I must say that a penny has never stopped a bullet, but who knows it might be lodged in somebody's eyeball one day because some husband gave his wife a penny for groceries for the monthly budget."

The End. \ud83d\udcb0

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