The Pumpkin On The Beach

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"The Pumpkin On The Beach"

by: Wes Robert Ward

As I sat among the shore hearing the seagals above me soar, I truly felt the salty air all around, and so I inhaled the sweet smell of the sea, and as I did all this and so much more, I suddenly sensed something among the calming roar of the sea.

Within me there's an inner peace, a piece of me that must never be ignored. My eyes adjust to such a sight of what I see among this blight. On the beach before me between the ocean and the beach was a pumpkin on the verge of the end.

To what end I did not know or ever will. Dismal as it may appear, this pumpkin that sat gave me much fear of it's depression and the direction it sat in the sand made me want to give a helping hand.

Sadly I knew what the pumpkin had planned. And knowing this I cound not understand, but alas I knew it to be true that this pumpkin didn't want to face no more of the knife and soon it wanted to end it's life.

I cried out, "Pumpkin, what are doing? You have so much to live for? There's so much to life and much, much more. When one door opens, four more doors open as well. And who could tell, you're just a pumpkin today, but you can be a watermelon tomorrow!!!"

"Oh what sorrow," The Pumpkin cried orange tears, "I must, I must drown myself, I loathe myself, I pity myself. The sea is calling for me and perhaps a hungry shark will devour me."

I said with less dread, "Sharks don't eat pumpkins, mostly men, kids, women and animals, and I don't want to gloat, but I think you'll just going to float."

The Pumpkin turned around and said, "You know you really don't need to help. I'm so freaking full of pulp that it's like your version of human blood pressure, you could even stick a measuring stick in me and measure. Plus I got high cholesterol as well and I feel like Halloween Hell."

I jerked my thumb back to the tiki bar, "How about I buy you a pina colada rum soda. I hear there's a few coconuts in bikinis over there too. Or pardon me for saying so, you could even woo that pineapple like a drunken Dean Martin who's got tata's like Dolly Parton."

The Pumpkin thought for a moment, mayhap a moment to long, perhaps he was thinking about that 'One-Eyed, One-Horned, Flyin' Purple People Eater' song, then said quite likely, "Sure why not, I'll even bring my marijuana pot."

And ahhh man, I was gonna pick up sea shells until I got high. I was gonna pee in the ocean, but then I got high. I got sand in the crack of my ass and I know why (why, man?) Yeah, hey 'cause I got high because I got high because I got high with a big ole orange pumpkin\u2026

The Pumpkin puffed on his weed and laughed on the sand, "Yeah man, dude I am so baked right now that that sun out there looks like a lemon."

I puffed and pointed out to the sea again, "Dude, that is a lemon. Hey, let's go to Taco Bell, buddy. I never shoved big burritos into a pumpkin before, but if worst comes to shove you'll be the first."

The End. \ud83c\udf83\ud83d\udeac

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